Money vs Meaning

How much money do you make?

How much MEANING do you make? It’s difficult to answer, but a lot more revealing. It will tell you more about a person than their Facebook and Instagram profile.

Meaning is not quantifiable, comparable or standard, just like human beings. It goes beyond the surface and reveals true character #priceless

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Find your push

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It doesn’t occur to us that our work needs more work. That our partner needs more appreciation and our children need more uninterrupted time. That’s why we need people who can speak the truth. Well wishers willing to criticise us not because they enjoy our faults, but because they recognise our potential. Find them and keep them close #priceless

Great men

14355541_1175995909105100_2842310204326562970_nThere is a sense of longevity about a masterpiece
Works of great men are gifted with a sense of timelessness
They are not beholden to contexts, cultures and countries
They appeal directly to the human heart and all that’s sacred to humanity
The raw emotions that drive men
That differentiate us from all others who roam this planet
That give meaning to our meaningless existence

They are touched by something ethereal
And its influence translates into their creations

They aren’t born in riches, these men
They are products of tragedy, disaster and disturbance
Their misfortunes allow them to find something that others never care to even seek
Truth
And the truth changes everything

They are not longer products of their circumstances
Their circumstances are a vessel of their greateness
Their work continues to inspire and emote long after they are gone
Great men create meaning

#priceless

On being different

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Observe the masses and do the opposite they say. Its not simple as it sounds. Masses follow the wisdom and worse the trends of the time. Going the opposite way is like swimming against the tide, almost foolhardy.

Instead, aim for an uncommon understanding of the world. Instead of blindly following the crowd, steadfastly follow a chain of logic and let it lead you to its melody.

That sense of courage and commitment to principles is uncommon. It will differentiate you from the herd. Great men have endured great suffering and greater success at its behest.

#priceless

 

Mist and meaning in Nepal

IMG_20170721_053145904_HDR (1).jpgI have never given mist much of a thought. It’s the fresh mountain air, the bright stars at night and the tall pine trees that have always fascinated me. They have brought out words and stories within me just as effortlessly as a chilly evening brings the urge for a glass of whiskey. This visit to Dhulikhel in Nepal was different. The valley was surrounded by a blanket of white. Its presence and influence on the valley was undeniable. It wasn’t just outside; there were clouds inside my head and they taught me lessons.

The days are spent working; I enjoy the night; the nip in the air. The thunder of clouds and the promise of love.

 

 

The sky burst open in the evening

It began to rain

The valley became so beautiful and so cold

That it was impossible to stay outside and enjoy it

I have known love like that

 

 

 

I like the silence of a mountain

Unbroken by noise

The free flow of thoughts

When I find mountains

Words find me

 

 

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They are all drinking and making merry

While I am sitting alone on this chair in my balcony

Next to the mountain and making peace

 

 

Mountains open a door in my heart

Someday, I am going to turn them into a home

 

 

Can I live on the mountains for a lifetime

May be not, but tonight seems forever

 

 

The mist is growing

Taking over the valley

A sheet of all consuming white

Soon It will reach my balcony

Perhaps, I will be able to see better in its fog

 

 

It is fascinating to watch the mist take over the valley, ever so slowly

Almost like love, a madness that takes over the heart and blinds it to reason

When it subsides, not much remains

 

 

The rain, it brings with it a certain fragrance

That makes me want to breathe

I feel we should always carry a fragrance with ourselves be it joy, kindness, anything uplifting

 

 

There are birds chirping in the mountain, I can’t see them in the mist, but I know they are sitting on the branch, high upon a branch- biding time. I, too, am waiting for the mist in my head to give way to clarity.

 

 

I have never thought of mist before, but I can’t stop thinking about it right now

God help me,

It must have some connection to the woman I love

 

 

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The mist is rising, once again, from the valley

I wonder if it can climb over the heaviness in my heart

 

 

I am going to leave in sometime

Feel that only know am I beginning to appreciate this place

The valley down below

The layer after layer of mountains

The mist rising quietly

The silent beauty of it all

 

 

Everything has a purpose in life

I finally realized the purpose of the mist that has fascinated me this past week

When it lifts, it brings beauty to the mountains

But it also takes over the entire valley in its haze

It knows when to hide and when to show its cards

It teaches the value of clarity

There will be mist in your life

You can’t be too worried about it

But when the time is right, seek clarity

 

Don’t play cupid mom, unless

IMG_20161228_223318781.jpg“After 30-years of marriage and a successful professional career do you not have one piece of meaningful relationship advice for me?” I asked my mother. It was a pleasant Sunday evening and she had gently nudged me to find a life-partner. Of course, she had a girl in mind.

A “well-educated” girl from a “well-off” family- WELL. Been there, done that and learnt that wealth and education have little, if any, correlation with happiness. I tried to explain to her what qualities I am looking for in a partner, but the conversation ended with both of us confused and upset. Immediately afterward, I sat down and wrote this heartfelt article for her and for myself. Perhaps you can share this with your mother too and come to a common understanding.

Don’t tell me about her alma mater, mom. Tell me how generously she deals with differences. The way she is able to find a common ground and help two opposite camps co-exist- respectfully. Will she let the other side have a win, without conceding a loss?

Don’t tell me about her family’s economic status, mom. Tell me about the time she pursued her passion despite several obstacles and discomforts. Will she invest in our relationship even when the return on investment might seem low?

Don’t tell me about her rich taste, mom. Tell me about the time she choose to forgo that dress or that trip because she believed in simplicity. Will she be willing to put her family’s needs ahead of her wants?

Don’t tell me about her fair skin, mom. Tell me about the tenderness of her heart. When she displayed kindness to the waiter or the salesman who had shown no courtesy to earn it. Will she treat me with kindness, in my dark moments, when I least deserve it?

Don’t tell me to marry a Hindu or a Muslim, mom? Tell me about the sagacity of her thought. The way she can put aside dogmas and retain composure, despite heat and stress. Is she a maker of wise decisions?

Don’t tell me how she will fit in, mom? Tell me how she will stand out. The way she will take nothing but our best efforts in return for her love and affection. Can she go from one discomfort zone to another without losing hope?

Don’t tell me to get married, mom. Tell me to wait, as long as it takes, to find her.

#priceless

 

Want greatness? Become selfless!

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Because everyone gets thirsty in the line of duty ~ Img: imgur

No, that can’t be true. We were always taught to look after ourselves- everyone else is. “You have to FIGHT for what you want,” they said. “The competition is stiff.”

We took their advice to heart.

It served us to a certain age bracket. When we were babies, all we could think of was milk, food, and sleep. Our own needs. The moment they were unmet, we throw a fit. Enter teenage, it became about our education, our health and slowly our desires. We wished to explore the world, to consume what’s fashionable, taste the exotic, and to experience life in all its rich colours.

This carried on well into our adulthood and until then this behaviour was acceptable, even encouraged.

And then the tables began to turn. Almost suddenly, we are asked to take on Responsibility. We already looked and talked like adults, but now we are even asked to behave like one. It wasn’t a happy realisation for most. We learnt that being a grown up goes beyond wearing elegant suits and sarees and drinking alcohol on Saturday evenings (those are the few perks).

We had grown up wanting to become adults and take decisions for ourselves and now all we wanted was to go back to the sweet childhood days and let someone else deal with the mess of everyday life. It was a trap all along and we fell hook, line and sinker.

It doesn’t end there.

With every year, they add more responsibility on our shoulders. The burden of a project, of a department, of a life-partner. It goes heavier and heavier. Somewhere between all these activities, we realise that our parents are also growing old and fragile and the roles begin to reverse. They also become our responsibility.

I have been uncomfortable with the notion of being a grown-up man. I have resented the roles that were thrust upon me with no prior warning and skills to cope. What followed were a bunch of absurd and embarrassing choices (After, I was done trying to become a tennis pro, I thought may be a career in acting was my thing). It’s taken me a lot of time and effort to discover common sense. To take the responsibility of my family, finances and life. To know when to raise my voice and when to let it go.

Obviously we struggle. We struggle to choose between our partner’s desire to go out for dinner and our priority to watch football, for managing the needs of our retired-parents with our fresh-careers, for balancing the nurturing requirement of our children with our leadership tasks in multi-national corporations.

We have reached a crossroad.

Our choices in these moments will define us. Some of us will mark a premium on money, others on power and a few will choose to dedicate themselves to their family’s needs. It will be a toss-up everyday for the rest of our lives.

That’s where it will end for most, but not for all. There are individuals, few of them, who will able to reconcile these conflicting demands, absorb the pressure and take a leap towards greatness. They will lead lives of maturity and grace and inspiration, while others will stumble from confusion, to disappointment and remain forever discontent.

All the money, fame and influence in the world will not be enough for some. They will want more and more and more for themselves and the more they grasp; the more they will hunger. They are lost, beyond hope.

Meanwhile, those few who achieve a more benign version of success, will think beyond themselves. They will empower others to succeed and in the process ensure their own success. Because they will want nothing for themselves, they will be liberated to make a valuable contributions to their organisation, state and even nation.

Truly great characters like Teresa, Mandela, and King differ in their skills, ideas and stature, but they have something common. They stand out Because of their selflessness.

For their ability to put others (family, community, nation, humanity) ahead of themselves. They can’t stop giving and almost by some miracle they receive in abundance. All the things they don’t desire (admiration, spotlight, influence) follows them wherever they go. The more selfless they act; the greater they become. It is a strange notion to get your head around. Yes. It is against conventional wisdom. Yes. And yet such behaviour continues to inspire us. It lends a deeper meaning to life.1234

In Hitler’s presence, German jumper Luz Long’s advice American Jesse Owens that led him to win the gold at the Berlin Olympics in 1936 whilst Long settled for silver.  “You can melt down all the medals and cups I have and they wouldn’t be a plating on the 24-carat friendship that I felt for Lutz Long at that moment,” said Owens. 

Does that mean we give up promotions and social mobility, perhaps not? But it can mean that we find a way that our progress doesn’t come at the cost of someone. That we carry people along on a successful journey.

Holes in the selfless ship

There is a variety of individuals who have lived their lives antithetical to this idea, of course. The all-consuming dictators, power-hungry politicians, and greed-obsessed managers. Their selfishness knows no bounds and sometimes yields good results, however, their journey causes more grief and spills more blood and destroys more value than it creates.

That kind of greatness comes at a cost to everyone around them. It causes suffering and pain to the world and it inevitably comes back to haunt these megalomaniacs. Meanwhile, the followers of altruism bring peace to the suffering. Their presence alone builds trust and creates an environment conducive of growth, goodness and productivity.

It’s that simple. It doesn’t matter where you are and what you do. The more selfless you are; the happier, possibly greater, you will become.