The scary idea of marriage

img_20161110_202550788You are settled now, get married. You are getting old, get married. Time is running out, get married. I want grandchildren, get married. Huh!!

I have faced a barrage of these questions over the past one year and none of my answers (logical or emotional) seem to convince my parents otherwise. I am done giving answers; it’s tiring. Instead, I tried to understand the idea of marriage at the wedding of a close friend recently. img-20161112-wa0006When I think of a life partner, I imagine someone close and afar. Close enough to inspire and far enough to allow inspiration to translate into words and stories.

Moon is benign on the river tonight so the water shines. True love is when two people are benign to each other. They shine.moonThere is a girl I know. She has all the grace in the world in her soft voice. It’s a strange idea that I have to share my feelings with her. One look into my eyes should reveal everything.

My friend said, “We are going to chill next to a bonfire. Why are you carrying notepad and pen?”

“You never know,” I replied. “Love and inspiration come unannounced.”

This girl I know, she has all I could ask for, while I have nothing to offer her except my words. I hope she understands they are priceless.

My friends called me. I am expected somewhere and I have to go. I realise that something has to end for something else to begin.img_20161110_083812926It is a funny institution marriage. Unlike any other venture, where we celebrate accomplishments, here we make a lot of noise about its beginning. May be what we are really celebrating is the best of humanity. Coming together of two people in search of love, joy and fulfillment.

I am not against the idea of marriage at all. A life partner adds meaning and value to life. He/she checks us from our excesses, shares our success and supports us in our failures. I am all for marriage and a life partner and particularly vary about not ending up with someone who does exactly the opposite.

At some point you have to find your courage. Take off the cloak, open your heart and allow vulnerability to fill your lungs. It is frightening at first, but give yourself a chance. Wounds don’t go  away, but a layer of happy memories can act as a balm.

There is no shortage of romantic songs tonight, but not a single hand to hold.img_20161110_131238395_hdrMy friends are discussing how marriage is about “compromise.” I think that’s a terrible idea. Soaps and shampoos are about compromise. Together is the right word that defines marriage. Grief together. Failure together. Moments of laughter, in between, together.

Weddings, they are indeed beautiful. A celebration of love, life and togetherness. They make you want to believe in a bright future. It is good to be positive at the start of a journey that will last a lifetime.

When I make this commitment, when I say those vows, I will mean every word. I will put her happiness above all else. A partnership based on honesty, simplicity, and mutual respect. I hope she understands what that means. I hope she signs up for the same. If we take care of each other’s happiness, we won’t have to worry about our own.

Will they let me carry a pen and a notepad to my wedding? I would like my wife to get married to me and my words.IMG_20161111_095510804.jpg

One thought on “The scary idea of marriage

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s